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Writer's pictureDericka Canada Cunningham

How Friendships Heal

Updated: Aug 6, 2023

Dericka Canada Cunningham, GBW Founder

July 31, 2023



This Week's Anchor


“Anxiety weighs down the heart, but a kind word cheers it up.”

Proverbs 12:25 (NIV)

 

Aren’t you grateful for the on-time nature of a phone call or special moment with a friend? I’ve had a few recently, and following the celebration of International Friendship Day yesterday, I can’t help but appreciate these sacred connections and reconnections with friends. It’s so easy to get lost in the busyness of our lives and forget that what we might need most are the kind words of our friends. In moments when my life is hectic, the thought of reaching out to a friend can feel overwhelming and anxiety-provoking itself. However, our anchor scripture reminds us that kind words (especially those from our friends) can be a timely antidote to our worries.


This scripture is simple— “Anxiety weighs down the heart, but a kind word cheers it up.” Sometimes it’s the simple things that we take for granted the most. And in this case, it can be those pure moments with our homegirls that we underappreciate. Not only do our friends have the potential of helping us heal by cheering us up, but another scripture in the book of Proverbs reminds us of how important people in our lives, such as friends, can help us grow. “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another” (Proverbs 27:17). God consistently reminds us of the power that a group of people who are intimately connected can possess. When we come together in community of friends, in addition to being encouraged (Proverbs 12:25) and sharpened (Proverbs 27:17), the presence of God and the Holy Spirit can show up (Matthew 18:20), we are stronger and not easily broken (Ecclesiastes 4:12), and we have the potential to experience relentless love (Proverbs 17:17).


As I mentioned above, there are a million things that can get in the way of connecting with our friends for support. For one, as we grow older, our lives get more complicated. We also often find ourselves in different seasons than our friends which can make being on the same page and connecting more challenging. If not practical reasons, there can also be psychological/emotional reasons that get in the way of us connecting. Maybe we find it hard to trust others or are used to being the strong person others rely on, so reaching out just isn’t in our nature. Or perhaps, for understandable and valid reasons, we have a hard time identifying people in our lives who are worth calling a “true friend”. Despite our unique challenges, we can find reassurance in remembering there isn’t a one-size fits all definition of friendship, and there are many variations of friends. If not a friend in the traditional sense, it may be a classmate, coworker, former colleague, acquaintance, or neighbor with whom we are building a meaningful connection. Whoever it is and whatever form the friendship takes, it doesn’t take much to connect and reconnect if we are willing to take the risk. Just one simple phone call, message, or email to a confidant can make a world of difference.


Out of all the friends in our world, we have the friendship of Jesus as one of the greatest models. Jesus calls us and those He gathered with friends (John 15:12-15). He gave His life for us. He loves us without limits. And He is an example of friendship that leads with authenticity, empathy, and vulnerability—a friendship that challenges us to be the best version of ourselves. Sometimes we need to go to The Friend in prayer to help us connect with our earthly friends so that we can experience the beautiful meaning and healing that friendships can offer.


If you’ve found yourself feeling disconnected and isolated from your community of support recently, maybe your friendship with Jesus is a good place to start. Through intentional time and prayer with the Holy Trinity, we can rebuild ourselves and these meaningful relationships in our lives. Not only does friendship have a lot to afford us, but, like Jesus, we can also provide the same to others. If you are yearning for more connection with a friend, take the leap this week. Trust God to help you show up for a friend and allow a friend to show up for you!

 

Reflection

  • What resonates for you about this scripture and/or this devotion?

  • What gets in the way of you connecting with friends in times when you need it most? What do you need from the Holy Trinity to help you connect more meaningfully in friendships?

  • What intention(s) do you want to set to connect and/or reconnect with being grounded this week?


Related Scriptures to Ground You Through this Week

  • Proverbs 17:17

  • Proverbs 27:17

  • Ecclesiastes 4:12

  • Matthew 18:20

  • John 15:12-15

  • Colossians 3: 12-14


My Through-the-Week Reflection Guide


 

A Song of Inspiration



 

Quote of Love & Liberation


“ ‘I love being a woman and being a friend to other women,' should be feminism's tagline.”

Brittney Cooper





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