Dericka Canada Cunningham, GBW Founder
August 23, 2021
This Week's Anchor
“For His anger is but for a moment, His favor is for life;
Weeping may endure for a night, But joy comes in the morning.”
Psalms 30:5 (NKJV)
As a newly established devotional writer, there is nothing like feeling called to a topic that feels so heavy on all of us right now. So, I’m going to let this one flow right from the heart and truly in solidarity with those who are reading. This week I write to you about grief while in grief right there with you.
Over the years I’ve come to understand grief, both personally and professionally, in a complex way. Grief is not only represented in the heart-wrenching experiences of losing the physical life of a loved one—it’s all around us. We can grieve any person, place, or thing. Even seemingly positive moments and transitions in our lives can be full of the sorrow and loss that often accompanies grief. Our relationship with grief has unfortunately been challenged in this past year and a half of navigating and adjusting to the global pandemic that seems to be never-ending. Some have lost loved ones due to the pandemic; others have lost loved ones during the pandemic, and most of us have experienced loss in some form while trying to navigate this pandemic. No matter which category (or categories) you fall into, I can assure you that God has just the right dose of joy to sustain you through it.
Our anchor scripture this week is one that many of us are familiar with. Some of us learned it as children and have quoted it throughout our life—“weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning light.” This scripture comes from a song written by an often-beloved Bible figure, David. This song is chronicled as one of thanks and praise. In some versions of the Bible, this chapter is characterized as representing “the blessedness of an answered prayer” (NKJV, NIV). In the simplest way, David reminds us of how we can connect with joy despite our circumstances—through connecting with God in gratitude for who He is and what He has done. But how do we do this when we are waist-deep in grief and sorrow? It goes back to something I mentioned a few devotions back: remembering (“Sing praise to the Lord, you saints of His, and give thanks at the remembrance of His holy name”, Psalms 30: 4). According to this song of David, this includes:
Remembering that He hears and will heal us because He has heard and has healed us (v. 2)
Remembering that He will lift our broken hearts because he has lifted our broken hearts (v. 3a)
Remembering that He will keep us and those we love because he has kept us and those we love (v. 3b)
Simply put, if He did it before, He will do it again. And again, and again, and again. But…I’m not disillusioned to invalidated how spiritually and emotionally crippling the pain of grief can feel. The weight of our grief can make remembering hard. Sometimes all we have is our presence with God, and that’s okay. We can ask God to meet us where we are—to help us remember, to encourage us, and to inspire us. I did it today as I prepared this devotion. I was tired, stressed, and overwhelmed with the cumulative loss I’ve endured and that which I’ve witnessed those closest to me endure. To be transparent, I wanted to engage in the nap ministry versus this devotional ministry today. So, I came to God with what I had…an empty tank. I asked God to pour into me and through me despite how I was feeling, and God showed up and helped me to press on. Navigating grief and this thing called life is a process. And there are times when we must honor that we don’t have control of that process or how we experience and heal through that process. In these moments, we can only be real with God and trust that He will show up. We have to release the pressure of needing to put ourselves together and needing to come to God well packaged. Instead, we come to Him raw, with all the grief and exhaustion, and watch Him restore us in just a moment of His presence.
For some of us, we might easily remember and get into God’s presence amid our grief, but rather, our barrier to joy is the unexpected and not-talked-about guilt and shame of experiencing joy while grieving. We live in a world that not only divides us at the group level, but also one that emits a culture of division and disconnection even within our individual bodies. The reality that conflicting emotions and experiences often coexist within us is rarely validated. Because of this we often feel uncomfortable when we experience joy when we feel that we should be sad; or when we feel discouraged when we feel that we should feel excited. The truth is, we can be and feel both and. One of my favorite shows, This is Us, illustrated this so well in an episode from a previous season.
The two main characters in this show, Jack and Rebecca, are a married couple with triplets who are wading through their grief of losing a child. They return to the doctor who delivered their children and witnessed the loss of their late child with hopes of receiving some of his ever-flowing wisdom. Using the metaphor of hospitals, they are reminded of the unique combination of memories and feelings that many life experiences hold. In this scene, Dr. K thoughtfully shares, “hospitals are kinda like that you know…these bizarre buildings where people experience some of their greatest joys and some of the most awful tragedies, all under one roof. I think the trick is not trying to keep the joys and the tragedies apart. But you kinda gotta let them cozy up to one another, ya know, let them coexist. And I think that if you can do that…if you can manage to forge ahead with all of that joy and heartache mixed up together inside of you, never knowing which one is going to get the upper hand…and well, life does have a way of shaking out to be more beautiful than tragic.” (This is Us, Season 4, Episode 18, “Strangers: Part Two”). Not only is it them, but this is us too! God beautifully created the human experience to be complex and layered.
So, like David and in the wise words of Dr. K., dance while you mourn. Rejoice and praise God with your tears of sorrow. As you remember your loved one or that place, person, or experience that you have lost also recall God’s faithfulness and sustaining power in your life and their lives too. As your soul grieves, allow God’s, radical, unexplainable, immeasurable, and miraculous joy to pour into and over you this week.
Reflection
What is resonating for you about this scripture and/or this devotion?
How has grief shown up in your life (in the past or present)? What does navigating grief look like for you (e.g., what feelings, thoughts, behaviors are unique to your experience of grief)?
What do you need from God most in seasons when you are wading through grief? If you are currently in a season of grief, what do you want to specifically ask God for?
What intention(s) do you want to set to connect and/or reconnect with being grounded this week?
Related Scriptures to Ground You Through this Week
Psalms 30
Psalms 16: 11
Psalms 95
Nehemiah 8: 10
Romans 15: 13
My Through-the-Week Reflection Guide
A Song of Inspiration
Quote of Love & Liberation
“Something that is loved is never lost.”
Toni Morrison
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