Dericka Canada Cunningham, GBW Founder
March 6, 2023
This Week's Anchor
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
Philippians 4:6-7 (NIV)
If you’re reading the title of this week’s devotion and wondering, “did she really use a line from the show, a Different World, for inspiration this week?” Yes…yes, you are correct. Your girl is cheeky and can be inspired by anything, but as I often say, hear me out. I was recently blessed to celebrate another birthday, and in my husband’s true form, he gifted me with something that I’d been needing and thinking about for a while…a massage. If there are any other working moms out there, you know how sacred breaking away from wife/mom/work duties and pampering yourself is. Although I was a bit unprepared and taken aback by surprise (because as Black women, you know we like our control), it was certainly welcomed, and I immediately leaned into this moment of relaxation.
Despite being incredibly grateful for this moment, I felt myself enter the massage space hesitantly. I mean…I didn’t know what type of massage I was getting, anything about the masseuse, or how long it was going to last (again, I didn’t have control). Nevertheless, I let go (so, I thought) and embraced the unexpected. As I met the masseuse, I sensed her frankness in conversation, and thought, “this is gonna be interesting.” Her direct conversation matched her firm style of massage, and again, although I was taken off guard, I leaned in and knew that it was something I needed. In casual conversation, I mentioned that I love meditation and yoga, which she enjoyed hearing. Part-way through the massage, she attempted to relieve pressure in my neck with a technique that was somewhat uncomfortable. In noticing my reservation, she encouraged me to breathe and release my body. As I tried to let go to the best of my abilities, she stated, “there is still a part of you that is resisting…” So, I tried even harder to release. She went on to say, “I’m still sensing a slight resistance…you should address that in your meditation practice” ….My first thought was, “no this woman didn’t just call me out!” But as we wrapped up, I knew she was right and had discernment that was on point. I was a bit hesitant from the moment I walked in, and despite my failed attempts, there was probably a part of me deep within that was holding back from fully relinquishing control.
Although I might’ve had every right to be suspicious of this bold woman who, in the words of my mama and aunties from the South, didn’t know me from Adam and Eve, in true Dericka form, I left this moment thinking more about the resistance this woman spoke of. I reflected more on where this resistance came from. Part of it was me not being in control from the jump—the essence of a surprise. Another part of it was my being in a new environment—one that I didn’t plan for. I had never been to this spa and wasn’t able to do my usual thorough “research” that those of us with anxiety and type A personalities do. And a deeper part of it was about me simply not trusting her because 1) I didn’t know her and 2) to be transparent, she was giving me a little too much bold energy for someone who didn’t know me.
As I pondered, I considered how this resistance shows up for many of us spiritually in our relationships with God. Many of us resist God in the same way. God is known for placing us in unfamiliar territory where our lack of control becomes extremely obvious, and when we don’t trust God in the process, we resist. Like my massage experience, resistance isn’t always us flat-out saying “no”. Instead, it’s often a deep place within us that simply won’t let go. In fact, many of us have said “yes” to God (yes to leaving that job, yes to starting that ministry, yes to no longer worrying about that illness, yes to ending that relationship, yes to registering for that class or degree, yes to making that move, yes to going to therapy, yes to reconciling with that family member), but we are still holding on to our control and haven’t fully released our concerns regarding the process and outcome to God.
As I reflected further, I remembered something else this bold woman at the spa said to me that really sat in my spirit. Before she read me my rights in stating that I needed to address my resistance in meditation and as she encouraged me to let go, she said “if you don’t release, I can’t help you.” At the moment she said these words, they didn’t quite settle in my soul, but as I reflected on the entire experience and let God speak to me through it, this hit me to my core. I thought about all the times in my life God said the same to me—“Dericka if you don’t let go, I can’t help you”. And maybe God has said or is saying it to you. How can God help what you are desperately holding onto? You see, beloved, the risk of us not surrendering (our cares, concerns, worries, fears, the process, it all) to God is Him not being able to help us in the way that He could if we simply did.
I get it, releasing control and letting go sounds relaxing and nice, but it can be incredibly challenging, especially for those of us who feel that life has taken a lot away from us. That resistance in us is a fight—a fight that we learned through lived experience and that, to be honest, isn’t a bad thing to have (personally, I like my resistance bold massage woman!). It’s just God ain’t the one we need to be fighting. We need God. And this requires us to dig deep to trust that He is going to do and be everything that He promised. You know, Whitley Gilbert had it right in a Different World. Our anchor scripture this week encourages us that in order to trust God, we can relax, relate, and release!
Relax | “Do not be anxious about anything” | Pause, breathe, and settle down and in--Take a step back from our involvement in/concern with things |
Relate | “By prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." | Connect with the Holy Trinity--Seek the Holy Trinity in prayer and meditation to help us with our surrendering, connecting with others whom we trust to receive wisdom and clarity with regard to how to move forward |
Release | "And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” | Let go and surrender--Give over the worry, over-involvement, stress, etc. to God and allow His unshakable peace to cover us |
As we enter another week where God may call us into uncharted territory or ask us to hand over control, let us remember that He knows us and our lives better than anyone else, including ourselves. I encourage each of us to reflect deeply on the sources and contributors of our resistance in any way that it shows up in our daily lives because though there are spaces and places where resistance is necessary and serves us, there are many others where it actually gets in the way. May we have the wisdom to know the difference. May we lean on the Holy Spirit to open our hearts to trust. And may we relax, relate, and release!
Reflection
What is resonating for you about this scripture and/or this devotion?
What do you need from the Holy Trinity to help you release control and trust God?
What intention(s) do you want to set to connect and/or reconnect with being grounded this week?
Related Scriptures to Ground You Through this Week
Joshua 1:9
Proverbs 19:21
Isaiah 41:10
Jeremiah 29:11
Matthew 6:33-34
Romans 8:28-30
My Through-the-Week Reflection Guide
A Song of Inspiration
Quote of Love & Liberation
“Breathe. Let go. And remind yourself that this very moment
is the only one you know you have for sure.”
Oprah Winfrey
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