Relax, Relate, Release
- Dericka Canada Cunningham
- 7 days ago
- 6 min read
Dericka Canada Cunningham, GBW Founder
June 30, 2025
This Week's Anchor
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
Philippians 4:6-7 (NIV)
If you’re reading the title of this week’s devotion and wondering, “Did she really use a line from the show, A Different World, for inspiration this week?” Yes…yes, you are correct. Your girl is cheeky and can be inspired by anything, but as I often say, hear me out…By show of virtual hands, how many of you, like Whitley Gilbert, have a hard time relaxing and releasing? I know the collective stress is high right now, but truth be told, for some of us, the struggle to ease our minds and bodies extends far beyond the present moment. I say “us” humbly, because I, too, can relate. In fact, I can recall many moments throughout my life where I was met head-on with the challenge of releasing and failed miserably.
One moment in particular stands out, as God, per usual, used an unsuspecting interaction to call me into a much-needed space of surrender. I was celebrating my birthday at the time, and my husband gifted me with something I’d been needing and thinking about for a while — a massage. Although I was a bit unprepared and taken aback by the surprise, it was certainly welcomed, and I immediately leaned into this moment of relaxation. Despite being incredibly grateful for this moment, I felt myself enter the massage space hesitantly. I mean…I didn’t know what type of massage I was getting, anything about the masseuse, or how long it was going to last (simply put, I didn’t have control). Nevertheless, I let go (so, I thought) and embraced the unexpected.
As I met the masseuse, I sensed her frankness in conversation, and thought, “this is gonna be interesting.” Her direct conversation matched her firm style of massage, and again, although I was taken off guard, I leaned in and knew that it was something I needed. In casual conversation, I mentioned my love for meditation and yoga, which she enjoyed hearing. Partway through the massage, she attempted to relieve pressure in my neck with a somewhat uncomfortable technique. In noticing my reservation, she encouraged me to breathe and release my body. As I tried to let go to the best of my abilities, she stated, “There is still a part of you that is resisting…” So, I tried even harder to release. She went on to say, “I’m still sensing a slight resistance…you should address that in your meditation practice…”. My first thought was, “No, this woman didn’t just call me out!” But as we wrapped up, I knew her discernment was on point. I was a bit tentative from the moment I walked in, and despite my failed attempts, there was probably a part of me deep within that was holding back from fully relinquishing control.
Although I likely had every right to be suspicious of this bold woman who, in the words of my mama and aunties from the South, didn’t know me from Adam and Eve, in true Dericka form, I left this moment thinking more about the resistance this woman spoke of. I reflected further on the origins of my resistance. Part of it was me not being in control from the jump—the essence of a surprise. Another part of it was being in a new environment—one that I hadn’t planned for. I had never been to this spa and wasn’t able to do my usual “research” that those of us with anxiety and type A personalities do oh so well. And a deeper part of it was about me simply not trusting her because 1) I didn’t know her, and 2) to keep it a buck, she was giving a little too much audacity for someone who didn’t know me.
As I left this moment, I considered how this resistance manifests spiritually in our relationships with God. Many of us resist God in the same way. God is known for placing us in unfamiliar territory where our lack of control becomes extremely obvious, and when we don’t trust God in the process, we resist. Like my massage experience, resistance isn’t always us flat-out saying “no”. Instead, it’s often a deep place within us that simply won’t let go. Many of us have said “yes” to God (yes to leaving that job, yes to starting that ministry, yes to no longer worrying about that illness, yes to ending that relationship, yes to registering for that class or degree, yes to making that move, yes to going to therapy, yes to reconciling with that family member), but we are still holding on to our control and haven’t fully released our concerns regarding the process and outcome to God.
As I reflected further, I recalled another meaningful word this bold woman delivered at the spa. As she encouraged me to let go and noticed my continued struggle, she said, “If you don’t release, I can’t help you.” These words didn’t initially settle in my soul. However, as I processed the entire experience and allowed God to speak to me through it, this hit me to my core. I thought about all the times in my life when God said the same to me—“Dericka, if you don’t let go, I can’t help you.” And maybe God has said or is saying it to you. How can God help what you are desperately holding onto? You see, beloved, the risk of not surrendering to God (our cares, concerns, worries, fears, the process, it all) is that He may not be able to help us in the way that He could if we simply did.
I get it, releasing control and letting go sounds relaxing and pleasant, but it can be incredibly challenging, especially for those of us who feel that life has already taken a lot away from us. That resistance within us is a fight. A fight that we learn through lived experience. A fight that is beautifully ancestral. And a fight that, to be honest, isn’t a bad thing to have (personally, I like my resistance, bold massage woman!). It’s just everything doesn’t need a fight, and God, indeed, ain’t the one we need to be fighting. We need God. And this requires us to dig deep and trust that He will do and be everything He promised.
You know, Whitley Gilbert had it right in a Different World, because our anchor scripture this week encourages us that in order to trust God, we have to relax, relate, and release:
Relax | “Do not be anxious about anything” | Pause, breathe, and settle down and in--Take a step back from our involvement in/concern with things |
Relate | “By prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." | Connect with the Holy Trinity--Seek the Holy Trinity in prayer and meditation to help us with our surrendering, connecting with others whom we trust to receive wisdom and clarity with regard to how to move forward |
Release | "And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” | Let go and surrender--Give over the worry, over-involvement, stress, etc. to God and allow His unshakable peace to cover us |
As we enter another week where God may call us into uncharted territory or ask us to hand over control, let us remember that He knows us and our lives better than anyone else, including ourselves. I encourage each of us to reflect deeply on the sources and contributors of our resistance in any way it shows up in our daily lives, because although there are spaces and places where resistance is necessary and serves us, there are many others where it gets in the way. May we have the wisdom to know the difference. May we lean on the Holy Spirit to open our hearts and trust. And may we relax, relate, and release!
Reflection
What is resonating for you about this scripture and/or this devotion?
What do you need from the Holy Trinity to help you release control and trust God?
What intention(s) do you want to set to connect and/or reconnect with being grounded this week?
Related Scriptures to Ground You Through This Week
Tuesday: Joshua 1:9
Wednesday: Proverbs 19:21
Thursday: Isaiah 41:10
Friday: Jeremiah 29:11
Saturday: Matthew 6:33-34
Sunday: Romans 8:28-30
My Through-the-Week Reflection Guide
A Song of Inspiration
Quote of Love & Liberation
“Breathe. Let go. And remind yourself that this very moment
is the only one you know you have for sure.”
Oprah Winfrey