Dericka Canada Cunningham, GBW Founder
November 25, 2024
This Week's Anchor
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
Philippians 4:6-7 (NIV)
Well, GBW, as fast as this year has whirled by, we have made it to one of my favorite times of the year—the official almost-winter holiday season. This week, we celebrate Thanksgiving Day, and although the holiday is understandably controversial (and, more frankly, historically questionable), for many Black folks, it is a time to gather with family and have some good ole cookin’. The holidays bring joy, cheer, and communion for most. However, while time with family can be warm and welcomed, if we are all honest, it can also be challenging and somewhat dreaded at moments. Though we love them dearly, our family members can sometimes press our buttons and push our boundaries. In fact, some of us enter the holiday season with a bit of apprehension and anxiety regarding what might be said and how our family might trigger us.
This week's anchor scripture takes us to a passage we’ve visited. It declares that we have the invitation to approach the Holy Trinity in prayer as we navigate life’s anxieties and that in doing so, we can have unexplainable peace. When this scripture says, “Do not be anxious about anything,” our family relationships are also included, with all their ups, downs, ins, and outs. As we approach the holidays, we can first approach God in prayer to help us navigate our time with our loved ones.
One of my favorite things about being a licensed psychologist is the beautiful community of colleagues I am blessed to glean from. I’ve closely followed the work of one fellow therapist, in particular, Nedra Glover Tawwab, who provides great wisdom on how each of us can find peace in our intentionality in navigating our relationships with others. In her book, “Set Boundaries, Find Peace,” she shares specific ways we can set boundaries within various relationships. I highly recommend the entire book to each of you. Nevertheless, here are some insights from Nedra Glover Tawwab’s book that can help us navigate our tricky family relationships this holiday season.
Navigating Parent Relationships (p.174-177)
Signs that You Need Boundaries with Your Parents | Boundaries with Your Parents Look Like |
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Navigating In-Law Relationships (p. 177-180)
Signs that You Need Boundaries with Your In-Laws | Boundaries with Your In-Laws Look Like |
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Navigating Other Family Member Relationships (p.180-182)
Signs that You Need Boundaries with Your Other Family Members | Boundaries with Your Other Family Members Look Like |
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Navigating Co-Parent Relationships (p. 182-184)
Signs that You Need Healthier Boundaries with Your Co-Parents | Boundaries with Co-Parents Look Like |
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Navigating Relationships with Children (p.184-187)p.184-187)
Signs that You Need Boundaries with Your Children | Boundaries with Your Children Look Like |
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Navigating relationships can be mentally, emotionally, and spiritually exhausting. Therefore, as we set intentions for establishing healthy boundaries and keeping our peace this holiday season, here are some additional things to keep in mind:
Relationships are complicated, and family dynamics are even more complex.
There may be other signs and ways to set boundaries with your family that are not listed above. Navigate things in ways that make you feel uniquely empowered.
There are relevant cultural layers to navigating our complex family layers, which are to be acknowledged and honored.
Setting boundaries doesn’t mean disconnecting in relationships; instead, it allows us to be more connected in relationships and in a healthier, more authentic way.
Intergenerational trauma is real, and yet intergenerational healing and hope are, too.
Sometimes, we are left to heal and deal on our own with the unhealed parts of those in our family. While none of us are responsible for anyone else’s healing, our healing is owned by us.
On this note, healing and learning how to healthily navigate our family relationships is a journey (sometimes lifelong). Have patience and grace with yourself and those around you.
Even when there is chaos around us, we have the incredible Divine power to find peace within. With the Holy Trinity, peace can be still within us—nothing or no one, including our family members, can take this away.
As we enter another week and the unfolding of the holiday season, I pray that our time with family is filled with tender moments and deep connections and that if and/or when challenges arise, we are grounded in our faith to help us navigate them. May we challenge generational curses and connect with generational joy and healing. May we grow and evolve in our relationships with our family and others. And may we set boundaries and find peace!
Reflection
What is resonating for you about this scripture and/or this devotion?
What do you need from the Holy Trinity to help you set boundaries and find peace within your family relationships?
What intention(s) do you want to set to connect and/or reconnect with being grounded this week?
Related Scriptures to Ground You Through this Week
Psalm 29:11
Isaiah 26:3
Romans 15:13
John 14:27
Colossians 3:15
2 Thessalonians 3:16
My Through-the-Week Reflection Guide
A Song of Inspiration
Quote of Love & Liberation
"There's power in allowing yourself to be known and heard,
in owning your unique story, in using your authentic voice.
And there's grace in being willing to know and hear others."
Michelle Obama
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